Breaking Facial Hair News

My mustache needs no elaboration.

Nevertheless, I will elaborate. This is me as my character, Bob "Whiplash" McCord in THE MARRIAGE OF MISS HOLLYWOOD AND KING NEPTUNE, opening next week at UCI's studio theater. Or it's just me with a mustache, arching my eyebrow. Same thing, really.

THE BILLIONAIRE GENTLEMAN-HORSE IS GOLFING AT THE GOLF COURSE WITH MAYOR DOGS!!!

This is easily the most facinating and entertaining thing I've run into on the web in months. I don't even know what to say. It's brilliant because the more you read, the more patterns emerge, like an obsession with animals (obviously), wigs, tricks, beans, and even a sort of narrative with established characters. I'm sure it's designed to be intentionlly absurd and funny, but it seems very close to a Wesley Willis-type thing.

THIS IS UNBELIEVABLE!!!!!

I want my bike, I want my bike, I want my bike!

Yesterday two spokes on the back wheel of my bike busted. This is the fourth time this has happened in as many months. Yes, I ride my bike a lot, but it's not like I'm doing anything stupid with it like taking it off-road or jumping curbs or anything. The fact is, I weigh a good deal more than your average bike rider. That doesn't seem fair, though. I have a hard time finding pants long enough AND I have to get my rear wheel rebuilt? One or the other, but not both. That is too much.

In response to Joanne's request, here are photos of Cheeto with his eyes open.


On top of the fridge, which is strictly against the rules.


Close up on top of the fridge.


And, for comparison, a jellyfish.

Cheeto vs. Anti-cheeto

Today our cat began rushing around the house making a sound that was something like that barking noise cats make when they see a bird, but about two notches crazier. He'd sit in the bedroom window for a couple seconds and then run over to the office window, going back and forth like that for about ten minutes. His tail was puffed up to three times its normal size (which I have only ever seen him do once before when our friend Jen was here. Which is weird because Jen was not provoking him. And she loves animals. Indeed, she's a vegan. Well, was a vegan. Now she's a vegetarian. Anyway...) I couldn't figure out what was going on until I finally spotted a cat down in the parking lot that looked a great deal like Cheeto, but a little fuzzier and whiter. The two cats stared at each other through the window for ten seconds before the outdoor cat tore off into a bush. He had evil in his eyes, I tell you. Amanda and I have dubbed him The Anti-Cheeto.

I...am a clown.

I am currently rehearsing the role of Bob "Whiplash" McCord in THE MARRIAGE OF MISS HOLLYWOOD AND KING NEPTUNE by Robert Schenkken. Bob is a grand British Shakespearean actor who has been lured to Hollywood (in the late 1920's) to make crappy silent Western films. It's funny stuff and is giving me a chance to work on my Standard British dialect. It is also my second role in less than a year in which a bullwhip plays a significant part. Weird. For that matter, it's my second role in under a year in which I play an actor. Interesting. Hadn't thought of that. I suppose that means my type is "bullwhipping actor." Which, I would assume, is a type that very few actors fall into. Well, good. Good for me.

I can crack that whip, alright. Oh, can I crack it!

What is new

What's new is that I've been working a 8:30 to 5:00 job at El Pollo Loco and then going to rehearsal from 6:00-10:00 every weeknight for the last three weeks and I'm exhausted. But in a good way, of course. I can't remember if I've blogged about it here (too lazy to check) but I'm rehearsing a play called WOOF, DADDY that will perform at the San Francisco Fringe Festival beginning on Sept 6. It's a great show. It's 45 minutes long and intense. And weird. I love weird plays. It's my favorite genre.

I posted a bunch of rehearsal photos on my website. So go look at them and tell me what you think. If you read this blog anymore. And you can also check out our SF Fringe page. If you live in or around San Francisco (BRIDGET) I can't wait to see you! Get your tickets now!!

I'm sorry I haven't been blogging lately.

I've been working at El Pollo Loco, Inc. (many of you may not have heard of El Pollo Loco, but you will soon as it's on the brink of nationside expansion. It's a quick serve/fast casual restaurant concept with 350 locations in California, Arizona, Nevada, Texas, and Illinois. Really good food, acually.) as an Executive Assistant. And then I've been rehearsing every night from 6-10. But I've only been rehearsing for the last week, so I don't have an excuse for the rest of the summer. Anyway, things are superbusy. But I have a Saturday off, which is fantastico.

Gurn results

I forgot to tell you that I took second place in the gurn competition this year. Jovanni, who can do this weird thing with her lips where they go in completely opposite directions, took first. How I hate her. I wish I had pics, but no dice, yet. Working on it.

The eleven most intimidating names of motorcycle distributors/manufacturers that I've had to call for my temp job

Wicked Choppers

Scorpion Choppers

Pitbull Motorcycles

Vengeance Motorcycles

Killer Chopper

Demon Chopper

Liberator Motorcycles

Darkside Customs

Death Row Chopper

Hellbound Steel Motorcycles

Funtime Scooters

a few days left

This quarter's almost over! I just finished my two big end-of-the-year performance projects... Friday I played Sweeney Todd in an extremely shortened version of the musical for my Musical Theatre 4 workshop (such amazing music) and also did our final workshop performance of a brand spanking new play called Les Jeux Sont Faits, based on the novel by Jean-Paul Sartre. Just a few more papers to grade and an exam to give and I'm D-U-N done! Then it's on to some good old fashioned summer tempin'!

Things I've been calling our cat lately besides Cheeto which is his official name:

Kitty

The Cheat

Mr. Bones

Mr. Orange

Mr. Machine

Peaches

Simba (his former name - mostly Amanda has been calling him this)

Cymbeline (again, mostly Amanda)

Lou

"We were burnt by the sun...

...having way too much fun. Sleepless downtown overload, did I stay outside too long?"

TWENTY points to whomever can name that tune. No googling allowed.

So, I'm researching for a paper I'm writing on Macbeth and thought it would be fun to do some reading outdoors since it was such a nice day. I now have the most wicked sunburn ever. It hurts like a son of a gun and I know it's not good for you, but I secretly love it. It makes me feel healthy and summery. Anyone else secretly love sunburns? Be honest.

Beardless

Last night I shaved my beard for the first time since Christmas. I feel naked. And I look weird. Actually, I look almost exactly like in my headshot below, which is weird to me but not to you, probably.

Defending gurn champion

So, this is how I "normally" look:



I'm just offering this as a reminder since the photo below is slightly more hideous.

Votes are currently being cast in the UCI graduate drama gurn competition. The gurn competition was something introduced to UCI by the great UCI voice and speech Professor Dudley Knight (who retired last year). A gurn, the way we define it, is a contorted facial expression. It has something to do with the voice and speech work we do in class, but I fear explaining exactly how it applies would be difficult at best and boring at worst. So instead, look, if you dare, upon last year's gurn champion:



I'll let you know how things turn out this year.

I'M SO HAPPY

Finally, after weeks of frustration and trial and error, it's done!

jasonvandebrake.com

IS LIVE!

Go there and tell me what you think. It just went up this morning so if there are any broken links or anything that should be added or subtracted, let me know. Thanks!!!

Bobby and Billy

Here's a photo from our final dress rehearsal. Keith Fowler, our wonderful director, just sent it to me. There should be more to come...

I'M SORRY! Jeesh.

I haven't posted in a while because I was doing a show. OKAY!!???

But now that show is over. I was performing in THE CRIPPLE OF INISHMAAN which I blogged about a few weeks ago. We just closed last Saturday night. As usual, it's nice to have my evenings back and a little hard to suddenly stop performing a show that I rehearsed/performed for six weeks. Being Babbybobby (my characer) was a great experience. He's a nice guy but also has no qualms about dispensing justice by way of physical punishment. As I mentioned in a comment I left in Dave's blog, the final act I performed before leaving stage each night was beating a physically disabled (crippled) boy with a lead pipe. This sounds awful because it was. But it was a great chance for me to practice being a cruel person on stage. Which seems to be the number one thing I need to work on. I'm pretty okay in my everyday life at being a nice guy. I'm non-confrontational, easy-going, generally a pleasant person. And I plan to keep it that way. But it's also an absolute necessity for me to be able to turn into a bastard when necessary. So like I said. Beating a cripple with a lead pipe is good practice.

Why I eyes ya.

Just go ahead a clear the rest of your schedule for the day because you'll be busy watching this video clip over and over and over again until you laugh so hard you have a headache.

QUIZ!

Okay here's a few more production photos. These are from the three shows I did last year. Can YOU match the names of the productions to the photos?

CAN YOU!!!???!?!!!

The productions are:
VENUS
THE ARABIAN NIGHTS
AGAMEMNON

Babbybobby

The play I'm currently rehearsing is THE CRIPPLE OF INISHMAAN by recent Oscar winner Martin McDonagh. It's a VERY dark comedy about a small village on the island of Inishmaan in Western Ireland and what happens to the inhabitants thereof when Robert Flaherty comes to the nearby Island of Inishmore to film his "documentary," THE MAN OF ARAN. I'm playing Babbybobby Bennett, and have been working on a Western Irish dialect. As a result of this, I often find myself using this Irish dialect in everyday conversations and sometimes at inappropriate times. A couple days ago I ordered a latte at Diedrich's Coffee with it. The girl behind the counter looked at me strangely. I'm not sure if it's because she was surprised to hear an Irish dialect or if I'm just unconvincing. Let's hope it's the first one.