Breaking Facial Hair News

My mustache needs no elaboration.

Nevertheless, I will elaborate. This is me as my character, Bob "Whiplash" McCord in THE MARRIAGE OF MISS HOLLYWOOD AND KING NEPTUNE, opening next week at UCI's studio theater. Or it's just me with a mustache, arching my eyebrow. Same thing, really.

THE BILLIONAIRE GENTLEMAN-HORSE IS GOLFING AT THE GOLF COURSE WITH MAYOR DOGS!!!

This is easily the most facinating and entertaining thing I've run into on the web in months. I don't even know what to say. It's brilliant because the more you read, the more patterns emerge, like an obsession with animals (obviously), wigs, tricks, beans, and even a sort of narrative with established characters. I'm sure it's designed to be intentionlly absurd and funny, but it seems very close to a Wesley Willis-type thing.

THIS IS UNBELIEVABLE!!!!!

I want my bike, I want my bike, I want my bike!

Yesterday two spokes on the back wheel of my bike busted. This is the fourth time this has happened in as many months. Yes, I ride my bike a lot, but it's not like I'm doing anything stupid with it like taking it off-road or jumping curbs or anything. The fact is, I weigh a good deal more than your average bike rider. That doesn't seem fair, though. I have a hard time finding pants long enough AND I have to get my rear wheel rebuilt? One or the other, but not both. That is too much.

In response to Joanne's request, here are photos of Cheeto with his eyes open.


On top of the fridge, which is strictly against the rules.


Close up on top of the fridge.


And, for comparison, a jellyfish.

Cheeto vs. Anti-cheeto

Today our cat began rushing around the house making a sound that was something like that barking noise cats make when they see a bird, but about two notches crazier. He'd sit in the bedroom window for a couple seconds and then run over to the office window, going back and forth like that for about ten minutes. His tail was puffed up to three times its normal size (which I have only ever seen him do once before when our friend Jen was here. Which is weird because Jen was not provoking him. And she loves animals. Indeed, she's a vegan. Well, was a vegan. Now she's a vegetarian. Anyway...) I couldn't figure out what was going on until I finally spotted a cat down in the parking lot that looked a great deal like Cheeto, but a little fuzzier and whiter. The two cats stared at each other through the window for ten seconds before the outdoor cat tore off into a bush. He had evil in his eyes, I tell you. Amanda and I have dubbed him The Anti-Cheeto.

I...am a clown.

I am currently rehearsing the role of Bob "Whiplash" McCord in THE MARRIAGE OF MISS HOLLYWOOD AND KING NEPTUNE by Robert Schenkken. Bob is a grand British Shakespearean actor who has been lured to Hollywood (in the late 1920's) to make crappy silent Western films. It's funny stuff and is giving me a chance to work on my Standard British dialect. It is also my second role in less than a year in which a bullwhip plays a significant part. Weird. For that matter, it's my second role in under a year in which I play an actor. Interesting. Hadn't thought of that. I suppose that means my type is "bullwhipping actor." Which, I would assume, is a type that very few actors fall into. Well, good. Good for me.

I can crack that whip, alright. Oh, can I crack it!